Those that keep up with MTG probably know that the current playset is Throne of Eldraine. But Magic: The Gathering has been around since 1993 and a lot has changed in the game since then, including the artwork on the cards.
Take a trip with us down MTG memory lane as we revisit some of the weirdest Magic cards. Some of these will have you laughing to yourself and wondering how they ever got approved.
Starting the list off is a classic, Horrible Hordes. The horde looks like a cross between robots, monsters, and random inanimate objects like street lamps and pots…I sure wouldn’t want those running at me.
It’s hard to tell what exactly is going on in this picture. There’s a man with a cone on his head balancing on a beam with a blindfolded fox holding a basketball…with a painter’s palette in the middle of them. I can’t even begin to try and explain this one.
Invoke Prejudice is a bit of a controversial one, when you look at what the cloaked figures are wearing alongside the title of the card…Yeah, this card probably wouldn’t get past any audits these days.
Given this card is out of print and will never be reprinted, the cards actually sell for quite a lot, ranging between $250-$350.
This one doesn’t seem so bad at first, until you read the italicized text and then look back at the image…
“Faith’s shield is hammered out by the blows of unbelievers.”
Are those monkeys in the back doing what I think they are?
Ebon Praetor leaves most people scratching their head. Why is there a man-sized rabbit and a demon holding a baby merfolk, awaiting judgment from a soul reaper?
Turns out there’s actually a bit of an explanation. As Randy Asplund, the artist, describes it, the rabbit is actually a Pookah, a Celtic spirit/demon.
Blue Mana Battery
I’ve never quite understood Blue Mana Battery either. Are the floating squares supposed to represent mana? Why are they just floating in the ocean?
Animate Wall gets my vote for the funniest Magic card art ever. The angry face of the wall, its large body and small limbs, and the woman cowering in fear over a wall combined just make it hilarious.
The art in Naked Singularity aptly describes my face when I read the effect. This card totally screws over your opponent, but probably messes you up just as much. I can’t imagine building a deck around this card.
Goblin Artisans is another card with hilarious art. We all know goblins aren’t the smartest creatures, but who knew they’d be eating paste?
Teller of Tales
This is one of the stranger looking creatures in Magic. I’m probably going to see it in my nightmares tonight, to be honest.
Not only does Chaos Orb have a grotesque image, it has one of the most unusual and unique effects in the game. When you play the card, you have to drop or throw it from a foot off the board, and any card it touches is destroyed. Who knew you’d knew hand-eye coordination in Magic the Gathering?
This card’s artwork is weird, but it actually fits the title of the card very well. I can’t think of any way better than to describe it as an eerie procession…of fish.
The character in this card resembles Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender way too closely for it to just be a coincidence. Methinks Avatar took some inspiration from this card.
Presence of the Master
You’d think this were a fake card, but no, that’s actually Einstein on a Magic card.
Word of Command
Strike fear in your opponent with this card. Something about the ways the eyes look is really unsettling.
Amulet of Quoz
If this amulet is an accurate representation, Quoz must have been an ugly person or creature. This card was made for ante variants of Magic, and it essentially forces your opponent to ante their top card or turn the game outcome into a coinflip.
Another card that’s the stuff of nightmares. Seriously, those teeth get me every time.
This is the original artwork for the Bee Sting card. I’ve gotta say, it’s really off-putting seeing someone have that many bites on them. Needless to say, this man wishes he had worn more than just a loincloth that day.
I actually love this card’s artwork. This is literally what a cerebral vortex would look like.
Yes, this is a real card, and yes, that is a flying zebra.